When to Stay and When to Leave Childhood Friends

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  • 25 Dec 2023
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Making friends as a youngster seems to be lot easier than as an adult.

Do you recall your first interaction with a friend? Walking up to someone and saying hello establishes a foundation with that individual, who is now referred to be a childhood friend.

Childhood friendships are a vital component of figuring out who we are. We get to engage with people who have different identities and learn how to establish healthy interactions with our friends. Apart from that, we learn about our own desires and preferences.

We grow to understand ourselves and others by sharing and considering their feelings. We learn to trust and how to create it by putting in many hours of work. As a result, we learn who we can and cannot trust.

Whether to Stay or Move on From Childhood Friends

Sometimes we make decisions that affect the dynamics of a childhood connection. As we become older, we encounter people who are more like us. People who understand our characteristics better.

There is nothing wrong with growing out of people at any age. We are fluid beings, and change is unavoidable. As we develop and learn more about ourselves and who we want to be, we may seek out individuals who are on a similar road to us. As a result, previous friendships may fade.

Here are eight things to consider oneself before determining whether to keep or leave a childhood connection.

1. Has the Dynamic of the Friendship Changed?

Life changes, and we now live hours away rather than in the same town. There was never a choice that altered the flexibility of our connection, but the mechanics of life may alter things.

Friendships in the past were limited to "coming out to play" or, as we dubbed it, "hanging out" as we became older. As a youngster, life was lot easier and more uncomplicated. You may decide whether to keep your childhood friendship or let it go by asking yourself questions.

2. Do Childhood Friendships Last Forever?

A childhood friendship, like any other connection, has the potential to last forever. We may develop and evolve within the context of our early connection, just as we can in any close relationship.

Childhood experiences and memories might serve as the glue that holds your connection together for a long time. If you were shy as a youngster and did not form many lasting connections, you are more likely to let the friendships that you did form fade away.

Life situations may put a friendship to the test. If you've gone through a painful experience, such as a divorce or the loss of a loved one, and you've changed as a result of a new recovery route, your friendship may change or dissolve.

If your friends aren't there for you during your difficult time, maintaining a strong friendship may feel impossible. No matter how amazing the friendship was previously, you must occasionally make the decision to end it.

3. Does Your Childhood Friendship Inspire You to Grow and Learn?

Having a buddy who has your back is the definition of a strong friendship. Friendships should encourage each other to grow into better versions of themselves. A bubble that promotes development and trust.

When a friend repeatedly demonstrates that he or she is unconcerned about your well-being, is simply unavailable to you in times of need, or is unable to appreciate your accomplishments, you may want to examine if you should continue spending time with this person.

4. Do I End a Friendship Due to a Misunderstanding?

Things that happen in our friendships might often lead to misconceptions. Even the strongest friendships might be severed as a result of this.

If this happens regularly, it's time to think about what's going on. Try to figure out why things are happening and how to avoid them.

Friendship, like all relationships, can be a mirror to our souls and our most powerful source of healing. It may perhaps be more useful to ask yourself, "What is going on within me at this time?"

The dynamic of the partnership alters as we focus on our own healing work. Either communication with this person will improve, or the friendship will naturally disintegrate.

5. Is Your Past the Only Thing You Have in Common?

Childhood memories have a lot of power, and having a childhood buddy be a big part of that might be difficult to pass up.

However, if the only thing you have in common with your childhood buddy is the memories you had, it may be tough to maintain the connection. Wants, wants, tastes, and the general course of your life can all shift at any time.

The connection can continue to grow and thrive if you can find fresh common ground. It is up to you if you value the work required to continue finding things in common.

6. Have Your Values in Life Changed?

As children, we draw connections that reflect how we feel on the inside. If we value having fun, then we will draw toward a fun-loving companion.

If our values change as we mature into adults, but our friends' values remain constant, it becomes more difficult to maintain the connection.

Your companion may still want to have fun, however you are now concerned about your future and working hard. It doesn't imply the friendship needs to come to an end, but the time you put in it may naturally diminish.

7. Has the Friendship Become Toxic?

When any kind of connection becomes toxic, it's typically preferable to avoid or end it. This does not imply that you must have a break-up conversation.

One approach to gradually erode the friendship is to reduce communication. If you create hard limits inside yourself, the poisonous component of your friendship might sometimes go away. This is yet another approach to recognize and prolong your lifetime connection without having to cut the individual out of your life.

8. How Do You Feel When Spending Time With Your Friend?

Take note of any energy shifts you notice. If you consistently feel odd when you are around your buddy or feel obligated to visit them, it may be time to reduce the amount of time you spend with them.

If you decide to discontinue the friendship based on your responses to any or all of the above questions, you have three options.
1. You may get together and talk about how you're feeling. Using "I" statements to express your feelings will reduce your risks of upsetting the person.
2. You might progressively reduce your communication with your friend in the hopes that the friendship would fade away.
3. You can also opt to shift the environment of your connection and set higher boundaries for yourself. Do what seems right to you in the end.

To Sum Up

There are advantages to maintaining a lifelong friendship. There's something to be said for maintaining a friendship that began when you were younger. You may have incredible memories and have carved a route in your life based on shared closeness with someone who knows the true you.

We are typically more open and free as children. We don't have to guard our hearts just yet. This childhood pal may be aware of our most significant life goals. They might remind us of our carefree days as adults and urge us to live that way again. It is entirely up to you whether or not to maintain a childhood friendship.

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